The New Danger

  This just in and hot off the press! a new danger has been identified in the battle against drug related gang activity in inner city areas! mothers, gather up your young! fathers, secure your homes! no one is safe against the threat of......

  74 year old pensioners!!!!

why, even just this morning one such criminal was apprehended on his way to "buy his sunday paper". at least that's what he would like the world at large to believe. after a stop and search session that would have made hans blix beam with pride, the eight brave police officers involved in the heroic venture in hackney were able to establish that apart from a freedom pass, a comb and some small change the nefarious thug, weighing in at a monstrous 81/2 stone, was, in fact, not carrying anything else.

Undeterred by a lack of evidence, opportunity, motive or in fact a crime, hackneys finest went on to interrogate the suspect.

At this point I am unable to go on describing the events. this is mainly because the sheer stupidity and gross incompetence of these wage slaves defies mocking.

but at the very least, the people of hackney can now rest safe in the fact that while their local education facilities maybe poor, nearby leisure facilities maybe underfunded and falling apart (you know who I'm talking to), unemployment levels maybe high and average income maybe low, regeneration maybe pricing them out of their homes and communities, they maybe under represented in parliament and over represented in jail, they may even be stereotyped and vilified six ways from sunday

......at least seventy four year old pensioners who still work 5 days a week to pay bills, pay for heating, pay for food and never once ask for anything from the government....at least that sort aren't free to wander around in the streets on a sunday morning buying newspapers and inspiring youth with their damn work ethic and never give up attitude. bravo